Author Archives: Megan

Waking up.

The nurse from Landstuhl called me as Ollie was waking up from the three day sedation after the blast.  I didn’t want him to wake up in a strange place, surrounded by people he didn’t know, to discover the extent … Continue reading

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I will sit with you in the dark.

I spent at least a year wanting to die. I figured I should just come out and say it, because it is true, and because it has been a long time since wanting to die was a thing I felt, … Continue reading

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Change is in the Air

We have spent the last couple of months on a farewell tour of the grand republic of Texas.  With the kids out of school and the husband on terminal leave, I have had no quiet time to share our story … Continue reading

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We Interrupt this Blog

A big reason I am sharing our story is to educate the public about the struggles of combat families during wartime.  As the wars draw down and our veterans are returning home, we are still going to need decades of … Continue reading

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The Next Day

The water streamed down my face, so hot it almost (but not quite) hurt.  I came out for air like a swimmer, then ducked back under the shower.  It was the morning after the notification.  I woke up early to … Continue reading

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Gone.

My memories after the notification phone call are like a strobe light.  Single moments standing still, broken up by dark gaps in between.  This is sort of what that looks like. I am on the phone with the people at the … Continue reading

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Eternal Moments

There are moments in my life that I refer to as “eternal.”  Some of them are trivial, like brushing my teeth.  Every time I stand there staring in the mirror with a soapy stick in my mouth, I feel like … Continue reading

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Unexpected Calm and The Phone Call

The anxiety felt like an unrelenting electric current coursing through the air, through my lungs, all the way into my fingertips.  My mouth tasted like metal; sometimes I spat to try to get rid of it.  My lips were numb … Continue reading

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Closer to Home

Here we go again. JoAnne and Kellie aren’t available to watch the kids until later.  Andrea, my FRG co-leader, says she can go to the brief and will bring the information back to me.  Hopefully someone can help if we … Continue reading

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A Brief Respite

I sped towards Ohio, leaving behind Fort Knox, the memorial service, the FRG, everything.  Earlier that morning I laid in bed texting Diane, “I can’t do it.  I just can’t go to this one.”  As I drove, I could hear … Continue reading

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