Monthly Archives: February 2013

The Bell Tolls

Somehow the information leaked through unofficial channels.  Rumors were flying.  His name was on our lips before we knew for sure that he was dead.  We messaged one another frantically for more information, but all we had was his name. … Continue reading

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Winter Turns to Spring

Managing deployment anxiety is, for me at least, a full time occupation.  Rather than “one day at a time,” I find myself living “one breath at a time.”  From the moment he left, it felt as though an elephant had … Continue reading

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Party Planning Paranoia

I am ready for this.  We will travel, host house guests, practice self-care, make fun and entertain as many distractions as I can muster.  My ukulele is sitting there ready to be learned.  You can cry into a guitar, but … Continue reading

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Trash Cans, Photographs and Farewells

“We don’t lick trash cans,” I say to my youngest child. For good measure, I add, “We definitely don’t lick infantry trash cans.” If the trash can germs don’t end up killing him, his immune system will be stronger, right?   … Continue reading

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Departure Day

The alarm goes off way too early. We pummel the snooze button as long as possible.  He holds me close and I breathe in his chest, trying to make this one of the eternal moments. “It’s time,” he says. “I … Continue reading

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The (Last) Everything

The (last) three weeks have been awful.  You’d think that we would enjoy every (last) moment we have together.  We don’t acknowledge the (lasts), but they hang heavy in the air until everything reeks with meaning.  Even the mundane is … Continue reading

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The Campaign

For months we didn’t know whether to prepare for the deployment or prepare for a cross country move.  Waiting for the IPAP announcement was excruciating.  He trained with his unit, but his entire chain of command knew that he might … Continue reading

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These are the Salad Days

The thing about the salad days is that you typically don’t recognize when you’re in them.  You usually look back at a joyful time and say, “Those were the salad days.”  Somehow, I was fortunate enough to savor the summer … Continue reading

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Life Changer

Our initial agreement was that he would leave the Army when his first term of enlistment expired.  Five years of service was a reasonable sacrifice.  We both had careers on the outside before–I was a real estate broker and he … Continue reading

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Waking Up After Combat

I learned to wake him up by standing at the end of the bed and shaking his foot.  That’s how they did it in combat.  If he woke up swinging, I was out of range.  I also learned to announce … Continue reading

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